Compliment of the season to you all my friends, it has been a minute since i have been here; life happens and we forget who we are and was created to be but eventually in the midst of all our troubles and confusions, one fact needs to be known, you are still YOU regardless. Our situation, present condition, environment and all, has no power to define who we are, the things happening around us are only as powerful as we make them and we have the ability the withdraw that authority from the devil, take it or leave it.
For years, i battled with low self esteem, lacked confidence in who i am, and even who i wanted to be, i needed approval from people around me and worst of all, if i felt any form of nonacceptance, i will automatically withdraw into my shell; but because i had an outgoing personality, it was easier to hide the battle going on in the inside of me, and only a handful that have studied me and i have seen my vulnerability could tell that i yearned daily for approval and acceptance to have a happy day. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months which eventually rolled into years and my esteem was never fixed, instead it got bruised even more because in the bid to overcome my fear of being rejected, i had given in to a lot of vices that i had no business with in the first place.
Living with myself became impossible, i would easily fall into a bad mood even in the midst of a crowd, the saying that loneliness is not cured by being among multitude is so true because even in the midst of family and friends, i would feel so lonely. My flaws was eating deep into me, eating deep into my relationship with others, eating deep into my relationship with God and i couldn't even find a way out of the dilemma. I would look at myself in the mirror and hate who i saw, there was nothing inside of me that felt exciting, good or promising even getting up from bed was a struggle, there was a lot of hate inside of me for what or who i could not point to, and i was slowly dying inside. My sanity was been taking away and i was slowly dwindling back into what i thought i had overcame a while back, i lost interest in things that would normally make me happy.
The recant above is what i faced for the past month, i was getting lost in my flaws, my shortcomings and sins that it was taking away my peace and joy. I had constantly told myself that not only am i not good to the world, but i am also not useful to God, and He doesn't care about me, i had let the devil convinced me into believing that i was too damaged for the revival and redemption of our Lord Jesus. I had let my flaws define who i am, given them the power to rule over my being,i had forgotten the promise that God made to me in the book of Jeremiah 1:5, and i let the devil dictate who i am and define my relationship with myself, others and most importantly with God.
The moment i was able to realize that my flaws does not define me, they only have power as much as i give to them, i was able to break free from the grip of the devil on my life. As we are approaching a new year, a new season, i want to encourage us that our flaws, past, sins and all does not define us. Regardless of what they are, they are there to make us stronger and better and not to destroy us. Rise up from all your shortcoming and embrace the love of the Lord who sent His only son to the world for one purpose "He died so that we can have life in abundance". Live life working through your flaws, like i said, they have no power to define you.
Have a prosperous 2016.
No comments:
Post a Comment